


the dj is mine

by greyskieslatenights



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M, Porn with minimal Plot, really bad pickup lines, shifty things in club bathrooms, sort of there's no penetrative sex but things do happen!, the junhwan is really just some pathetic pining from junhoe but it's amusing!, you know it's an old fic plot when jinhyeong's in it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-14 21:03:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16920324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greyskieslatenights/pseuds/greyskieslatenights
Summary: Junhoe drags Donghyuk out to the club. Donghyuk thinks he might have a thing for the DJ with the inside-out pants.





	the dj is mine

**Author's Note:**

> so... the idea for this is literally at least 3 years old. this is my friend sam's fault. i've worked on and off on it for literally 3 years so if the pieces of it are kind of incoherent i apologize. this is really just a bad crackfic with a blowjob in it. hopefully someone enjoys it lmao
> 
> (remember when bobby used to wear inside out pants? [pepperidge farm remembers](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CS3pv1QUAAACQFC.jpg).) 
> 
> title is from [the dj is mine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doXnuStEf2I) by the wonder girls!

“No.”

Donghyuk flops on his stomach onto his bed, glaring at Junhoe, his (somehow) best friend of seven years and roommate. Junhoe rolls his eyes and crosses his tight-black-jean clad legs, raising an impeccably-groomed eyebrow.

“Yes.”

“No,” Donghyuk groans, burying his face in his blankets.

“Yes. I know you have a pair of leather pants from the dance club performance last month. Wear those, and one of your white v-necks.”

“Why are you telling me what to wear? You have no fashion sense.”

Junhoe raises his eyebrow higher and waves one hand in front of his body with a flourish. “No fashion sense? Have you _seen_ me?”

“All you ever do is wear all black! That’s cheating!”

“You’re just jealous that my stunningly long legs look better in everything than yours do.”

“Well you know what about you isn’t long—”

“Aaaaaalright that’s enough out of you young man,” Junhoe cuts across, ignoring Donghyuk’s protest of _who are you calling ‘young man,’ I’m older than you by two months!_ “Get dressed. If you don’t, I’m dragging you out of here in your tighty whities.”

“I do not wear tighty whities.”

“Okay, your tight white boxer briefs, same goddamn difference. Hurry the fuck up.”

Junhoe leaves Donghyuk’s room, probably heading to the bathroom to give himself another once-over and reassure himself that his brief encounter with Donghyuk didn’t mess up his hair. Or something.

Donghyuk sighs.

If he’s going to be honest with himself, Junhoe’s kind of right.

Donghyuk’s had a lot going on in his life recently – being a scholarship student and a self-professed overachiever, he’s been spending a lot of time on his schoolwork, and the rest of his free time is dedicated to the dance club he’s in, which doesn’t leave much time to screw around like most other students his age (such as Junhoe, who somehow manages to pull decent grades and go out at least two nights a week. But Junhoe is weird – Donghyuk has learned this many years ago.)

And, well, finding out that a crush he’d been harboring on an upperclassman for the past few months was not only completely one-sided, but that said upperclassman was dating someone else always sucked.

Donghyuk’s not antisocial; he enjoys meeting people and socializing, but he just hasn’t been able to get out. Part of him wonders if he’ll even remember how to properly interact with people who aren’t interested in pharmaceutical chemistry, but he’ll never find out if he doesn’t actually try.

So he pulls on the clothes that Junhoe told him to, topping it off with a thin bomber jacket – he doesn’t imagine he’ll need it much inside the club itself, but it can get a bit chilly at night and he doesn’t fancy freezing.

Junhoe’s leaning against the doorway, arms crossed with one finger tapping impatiently along his upper arm.

“Took you long enough. C’mon, let’s go.”

“But—June, my hair—”

“Your hair is going to get messed up in about five seconds.”

“That’s rich, coming from the one who spent about five hours on his—”

Junhoe rolls his eyes, simply grabbing Donghyuk by the arm and pulling him out of their apartment so they can catch the subway.

“You’ll stick with me, right?” Donghyuk asks as Junhoe primps his hair in the reflection of the subway window.

“Hm? Yeah, man. You can find me whenever, if you wanna leave.”

Of course, though, Junhoe runs off the second they get their hands stamped, Donghyuk promptly losing him amongst the crowd. He supposes that he probably went to the bar to meet up with their mutual friend Jinhyeong, who Donghyuk vaguely remembers mentioning working at this club (and he’s probably going to hit on some other poor, unsuspecting human), but Donghyuk isn’t particularly interested in pushing his way through people.

He lets himself be carried by the crowd toward the dance floor, the electronic beat grating on his ears while the bass shudders through his body. Despite himself, he finds himself moving to the music, years of dance taking over his body. He doesn’t look for any specific partner, and tries not to touch any one person too much, letting his eyes wander throughout the crowd.

Somehow, he ends up making eye contact with the DJ. He can’t see too well from the distance, but it looks to be a guy about his age, in a simple outfit of a loose white tee, a snapback, and – _is he wearing his pants inside out or is that a trick of the light?_

Shaking himself off, Donghyuk bobs his head experimentally to the music for a few beats before eventually letting himself go. It’s not his usual environment, and it’s surprisingly difficult to dance without rubbing up much on others, but he does his best.

The heavy beats move into a slower, smoother song – something more up Donghyuk’s alley. He lets a few body rolls out, getting into the feel of things, and just as he glances up, he sees the DJ looking rather intently in his direction. Donghyuk’s not sure if it’s actually directed at _him_ , so he gives the perfunctory chin-nod, which, to his surprise, is returned.

 _Interesting._ Donghyuk decides to throw all caution to the wind, maintaining eye contact while moving his body to the rhythm, throwing in a few hands-running-down-the-torso moves just for kicks. The DJ looks away just before the song ends, signaling to a surly-looking guy who takes the turntables and promptly puts on some kind of trap mess that sounds vaguely like it could have been a Disney song once upon a time.

The DJ gestures off to the side with his head, and Donghyuk follows him in that direction, where they eventually meet.

“Hey,” the DJ says, and up close, Donghyuk can see that he’s got a charming, infectious smile. “Couldn’t help but notice you down there on the dance floor.”

“Hey yourself,” Donghyuk replies, giving the DJ a once-over. His pants actually are inside-out. He’s not sure how to feel about that.

“So, like, wanna bob on me the way you did on the dance floor? My name’s Bobby, so y’know. Maybe twice, for good luck?”

Bobby, or whatever his name really is, says this with the same smile and tone on his face as if he’d really just asked Donghyuk about his plans for the weekend.

If Donghyuk were Junhoe, he’d probably scoff at the guy, give a scathing remark, and possibly inflict some sort of bodily harm before stalking off.

However, Donghyuk is _not_ Junhoe, and thus proceeds to raise an eyebrow and ask, “Come again?”

Bobby has the decency to look a little ashamed, coughing surreptitiously into the crook of his elbow. “Sorry, that probably wasn’t the best way to start things off. I’m Bobby, you’re cute, and I’d like to buy you a drink, if you’d like me to.”

“That would be nice,” Donghyuk says. “I’m Donghyuk.”

“Nice to meet you.” The smile doesn’t fade from Bobby’s face as he motions in the direction of the bar, wedging his way through the dancers on the floor and beckoning for Donghyuk to follow. Donghyuk tries to stick as close to Bobby as he can so he doesn’t lose the DJ in the crowd.

After what seems like an endless sea of people, they finally make it to the bar – as expected, Donghyuk finds Junhoe leaning over the bar trying to chat up one of the bartenders while Jinhyeong sighs, cleaning a glass with a towel.

“Hey,” Bobby calls, grinning at the two, “I’m buying – give me two of whatever he’s getting.” He motions at Donghyuk, who clears his throat awkwardly.

“Um… I’ll have a sparkling water. With lime,” Donghyuk says stiltedly. He doesn’t drink much, and even though he’s got decent tolerance, he’d rather be sober when talking to new people.

…then again, from the way Junhoe, Bobby, Jinhyeong, and the short bartender have just turned to look at him, he may need a drink after all.

Bobby chuckles. “Two shots of tequila with lime, Jinhyeong. Thanks.”

Jinhyeong nods and obliges, setting down two small glasses and filling them up generously before garnishing the rims with a lime wedge.

Junhoe rolls his eyes. “At least someone’s gonna take the fucking stick out your ass, nerd.”

Donghyuk sighs, because he’s used to Junhoe's ribbing, but Bobby shoots Junhoe a side-eye.

“Maybe you need something up yours, kid!”

Junhoe scoffs, raising his hand to flip the DJ off. The small bartender reaches over to put his hand over Junhoe’s to prevent him from lifting the finger – Junhoe seems effectively startled by this.

Bobby barks out a laugh, nudging one of the shots towards Donghyuk. “Cheers. To a Bob and a Dong and you know what happens when those two things go together!”

Donghyuk grimaces, clinking his glass to Bobby’s and downing his shot. He probably actually needs the alcohol.

“Are you usually this smooth?” Donghyuk asks.

“Depends what you’re referring to,” Bobby replies. “My stellar pickup lines? Or what lies beneath these jeans?”

“Grooooooooooooss,” Junhoe drawls.

“Would you _stop,_ ” Donghyuk hisses, cheeks turning red. “Go pester your new friend!”

“Oh I will,” Junhoe declares, “right after his shift is over. He’s getting pestered big-time.”

“Is that supposed to be a good thing?” the short bartender mumbles, but he looks pleased.

Jinhyeong sighs. “Another round for you two?”

“Hit us with the Patrón, baby!” Bobby requests. Jinhyeong tops them up, and the alcohol is gone soon after.

Bobby links his fingers with Donghyuk’s, grinning as he gestures to the dance floor. “Shall we?”

The music on right now is atrocious – something about some guy named “bee eye” – but Donghyuk figures that neither of them will be paying much attention to the music.

*

For all his foolery, Bobby is a surprisingly good dancer, albeit with a very unique half-beat-late tempo.

This much, Donghyuk is able to notice as the two of them move together. For the most part, though, he’s focused on the trembling of the bass in his bones and another bone(r) that seems to keep poking at his butt.

Not that he’s complaining. Even if nothing else happens after this, Bobby’s cute enough that horrendous pickup lines notwithstanding, he’d go home with the guy.

(The alcohol in his system is _maybe_ clouding his judgment about the pickup lines. But he’s single and horny, dammit.)

Donghyuk isn’t shy about it – running his hands over Bobby’s chest, toying with his abs, maybe a surreptitious brush or two down below. Bobby responds in kind, if a little clumsier, grabbing handfuls of Donghyuk’s butt.

“How ‘bout we take this somewhere else?” Bobby whispers during a lull in the music.

“Thought you’d never ask,” Donghyuk replies, letting Bobby take his hand again and pull them off to the side. Bobby exchanges a few words with one of the guards, who motions them towards the back.

“Where are we going?” Donghyuk asks as Bobby navigates them backstage.

Bobby declines to reply, stopping at a door and opening it.

“After you.” He gestures for Donghyuk to enter the room; he does so, the DJ following close behind.

Donghyuk takes the room in as the door clicks shut behind him.

It’s a bathroom.

A _nice_ bathroom – probably the performers’ room, since there’s a sitting area in front of what he presumes is the entrance to the toilets proper.

But a bathroom nonetheless.

“Really?” Donghyuk quirks an eyebrow.

“Hey,” Bobby says, already pulling off his shirt and tossing it on the sofa. Donghyuk’s pretty sure that sofa has seen many a bodily fluid and prays that someone cleans it industrially at least once a week. Bobby has really nice abs, but small nipples. He’s still hot, though. “It’s private here. And classy enough.”

“I guess.”

Bobby steps in close to Donghyuk; he can feel the heat radiating off his body.

“Take your clothes off, baby,” Bobby breathes, lips a hairsbreadth away from Donghyuk’s own.

“Take them off me,” Donghyuk challenges, pressing his lips against the DJ’s. He tastes like lime and tequila, but Donghyuk’s not really focusing on that as Bobby grasps the hem of his t-shirt and pulls it up, forcing them to break the kiss. Donghyuk palms Bobby’s waist, thumbs stroking the cut of his pelvis as Bobby sighs.

“On your knees,” Bobby instructs, fingers moving to undo his jeans. Donghyuk’s hands beat him to it, reaching inside the waistband to undo the button fly.

“How the _fuck_ ,” Donghyuk grumbles, his fingers pressing gracelessly against Bobby’s hardness as he undoes the zipper, “do you normally take these pants off? How do you even get them on?”

“I have my ways.” Bobby wiggles his eyebrows and grins, yanking off his boxers and walking back to sit down on the couch. “And I said on your knees, babe.”

True to his allusion, the DJ is indeed rather smooth underneath his underwear. Donghyuk bites at his lip as he takes in the picture before him, a shiver running down his spine.

Donghyuk approaches; Bobby reaches out to hook his fingers into the waistband of Donghyuk’s pants, tugging him in closer before undoing them quickly and pushing them down.

“Me likey,” Bobby laughs, pulling Donghyuk onto his lap. Donghyuk kicks his pants off to the side somewhere so he can straddle the DJ’s legs properly, leaning in to lick at the seam of Bobby’s lips and kiss him deep.

They make out for a little, soft moans escaping their lips while Bobby palms their cocks together. Donghyuk drinks in the warmth of Bobby’s body, the softness of his lips, the way he keeps grabbing at Donghyuk’s butt. Donghyuk makes a dim mental note that he should probably hit leg day a little harder from now on.

Eventually, the DJ pulls back, pushes Donghyuk down by the shoulders.

“Put your pretty lips on me,” Bobby rasps. His dick is leaking precum, the clear liquid beading at the tip.

Donghyuk laughs. “You really want me to suck you off, don’t you.”

“Babe, I will return the favor tenfold. I just really want to feel you.”

Donghyuk settles himself down on his knees, cupping Bobby’s balls in one hand and his length in the other. He licks at the tip – there’s a vague saltiness, but no strong taste. He’s a little relieved.

Bit by bit, he takes the DJ’s cock in, licking down the shaft and suckling at the tip, glancing up to gauge his performance. Bobby’s eyes are half-lidded; he reaches down to palm the back of Donghyuk’s head.

“That’s it.”

Emboldened, Donghyuk takes about half of Bobby in, lips suctioning as he bobs his head up and down. The DJ groans, pushing Donghyuk’s head further onto his cock. Donghyuk can feel the saliva start to build up in his mouth, making the slide easier; he breathes in, out through his nose as he continues to suck, massaging the base of Bobby’s shaft with one hand. The weight is heavy on his tongue and jaw, a familiar ache beginning to set in his muscles.

All too soon (or was it really soon at all?) Bobby’s hips tense up and he gasps, flooding Donghyuk’s mouth. Donghyuk gulps, surprised more than anything else, but he manages to swallow down most of the bitter-salty liquid.

“Sorry,” Bobby says once he’s caught his breath. “Didn’t mean to bust a nut on you out of the blue like that.”

“S’fine,” Donghyuk replies. He washes his mouth out in the sink as best he can, then returns to sit on the DJ’s lap. “You’re going to return the favor, right?”

“I will give you any favor you want,” Bobby laughs, fingers pressing into the soft firmness of Donghyuk’s thighs.

“Take me back to yours.”

“Get dressed and we’re out of here.”

**Author's Note:**

> i'm SORRY i am so bad at writing smutty things and i was too lazy to write full banging. there were so many bad pickup line outtakes y'all don't even know lmaoo
> 
> also how does one even tag on ao3?? are we allowed to shitpost like it's tumblr??
> 
> feel free to yell at me in the comments or on twitter @[loverikonic](http://twitter.com/loverikonic)!!


End file.
